Somehow — and I have done some weird things — I ended up learning too much about the Holocaust. I mean “down the rabbit hole” kind of thing. I read ONE memoir and it was like potato chips you know, couldn’t stop.
Couldn’t stop.
I read every Survivor memoir and found 2 fugazis can you believe that? I actually contacted the publishing company because WHO DOES THAT?? That is some Olympic level bandwagoning. Douche bags. And the French resistance is such bullshit, so overblown.Sure they did some stuff but come on, farmers in Belgium were laying down on train tracks to protect their Jewish people. And for a little country they killed it. They had the most surviving children at the end of the war. And THAT is why they have the best chocolate. Boom.
It all started because I didn’t know how to use the library. I wanted books about prostitutes in Victorian England but I was afraid to ask for help and I ended up in this WWII corner leaving with “Speak You Also” and a book on the axis powers , The Three Stooges of course it became more, you know like Shemp? . And I never left that section and I still do not know how to use the library.
But what was I going to do with all this? Just throw facts out there at kids’ birthday parties and cook-outs like some Holocaust Debbie Downer?
Everyone but me: Happy Birthday Suzie!
Me: It wouldn’t be so happy if you were raped by your Russian liberators walking out of Auschwitz.
Wah Waaaah.
I like it. I’m going to hire a trombone player to follow me around for the rest of my life.
I have issues. I am only qualified to get drunk at a bar and murmur stuff.
